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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28121007">Interesting Times</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraNova/pseuds/AuroraNova'>AuroraNova</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Footnotes, Gen, Post-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:00:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28121007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraNova/pseuds/AuroraNova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Adam told her he used to be the Antichrist, Dierdre did the only sensible thing and booked an appointment with a child psychiatrist. Then an angel and a demon showed up.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale &amp; Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Interesting Times</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It seems like the general trend is to have the Youngs remain absolutely clueless about Adam having been the Antichrist, and Adam taking it all in a stride, so I wanted to explore the other possibilities.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I almost forgot to tell you,” said Adam. “Dog’s a hellhound.”</p><p>“Is he?” asked Dierdre weakly.</p><p>The animal in question almost seemed to be able to hear the capital D indicating his name, though that had to be a coincidence. In any event, he thumped his tail in a very un-hellhound-like fashion and closed his eyes.</p><p>There was no reply from Adam because he had fallen asleep. Dierdre watched him for several minutes, trying to sort out his confession so she could – well, she didn’t know what she’d do next. One step at a time.</p><p>She’d known something was weighing on Adam for the past few weeks, though all her efforts to find out what had been rebuffed. Until tonight, when he broke down and cried. Now he was happier for sharing his story and had calmed down enough to sleep. Dierdre was sure sleep would be a long time coming for her.</p><p>Adam’s tale had been a bit jumbled, but the gist of it seemed to be he thought he was the Antichrist, put on Earth to start the apocalypse, and he almost did just that, but at the last second had a change of heart. There was something about levitating and mouths involved, the details of which were unclear. Then he and the Them defeated the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Heaven and Hell were not well pleased, Satan came out of the ground, and finally Adam changed reality so Satan was never his father. An angel and a demon had been involved at the end. The angel was sharing a woman’s body until Adam fixed the situation, and the demon stopped time to give Adam a pep talk.</p><p>Also, Dog was a hellhound.</p><p>Dierdre sighed and went to talk to Arthur.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>A week later, Adam still thought he was the Antichrist, or used to be, he wasn’t quite sure how it all worked out. “Don’t have any powers, so there’s that,” he’d said. “At least, I can’t turn this cauliflower into ice cream.”</p><p>“It’s better if you eat it hot,” Arthur had replied.</p><p>Arthur maintained that this was a phase and Adam would forget all about it soon enough. Dierdre wasn’t so sure. She had gotten the earliest appointment she could with a child psychiatrist, two weeks hence, and spent a great deal of time trying to hide from her son how deeply concerned she was about this development.</p><p>For the time being, she listened. She was deeply committed to listening to her son whenever he wanted to share something with her. Her own mother hadn’t always cared to hear what she had to say as a child, and as an adult Dierdre could understand that her mother was overwhelmed, but all the same, that kind of thing hurt the young and Dierdre was absolutely not going to subject her son to the same pain she’d suffered.</p><p>Therefore, when she spotted the two strange men one Saturday afternoon when she went to the shop for nutmeg, she knew exactly who they were, or rather, who Adam thought they were.</p><p>“Crowley doesn’t look like a demon,” Adam had said. “More like… Greg Harvey, but taller.”</p><p>Greg Harvey was in an AC/DC cover band, much to his mother’s dismay. He dressed in black clothes with lots of metal bits – he could always be heard approaching - and was no one’s idea of a good influence.</p><p>“Aziraphale doesn’t look like an angel either. No robes, just a funny old suit.”</p><p>“I imagine robes would stand out too much,” Dierdre had replied for lack of anything better to say.</p><p>It was a relief to spot two individuals who matched her son’s description. Other people were responsible for Adam’s worrying beliefs, so it stood to reason the problem would be easier to solve than the alternative, which barely bore thinking about.</p><p>All thoughts of nutmeg and pies forgotten, she marched over to the odd pair. “What have you been telling my son?”</p><p>“Nothing,” said the redhead, holding up his hand as though he was about to snap his fingers.</p><p>The blonde reached out. “Don’t.”</p><p>The redhead sighed dramatically.</p><p>“You must be Mrs. Young,” said the blonde, who looked like he’d stepped off the set of a period drama. “I think perhaps we ought to have this conversation in private.”</p><p>Dierdre was about to protest, until she saw Amelia Martin and changed her mind. The woman was an inveterate gossip and the last thing Dierdre needed was the entire town talking about Adam’s delusions.</p><p>She therefore ended up with the pair sitting in her back garden. She pointedly did not offer them tea. Instead, she went to get Arthur. Adam wasn’t around, off with his friends no doubt, which was for the best.</p><p>Arthur, for all he claimed there was no need for worry, immediately abandoned his vegetable patch and followed her to confront the men.</p><p>“…didn’t think he’d tell his parents,” the redhead said.</p><p>“I didn’t think he’d <em>remember</em>,” replied the blonde.</p><p>Arthur looked as angry as Dierdre felt. “What did you do to my boy?”</p><p>“Ah, Mr. Young,” the blonde said. “Pleasure to meet you.”</p><p>“Don’t think the pleasure’s mutual,” observed the redhead after a moment, stretching out his legs in a way which suggested he was entirely too comfortable.</p><p>“Er. What seems to be the trouble?”</p><p>Arthur was not a man prone to violence, but he looked close to it. “What did you do to my son?”</p><p>“I’m afraid not much, really. We did give him a pep talk, so I suppose that counts for something.”</p><p>“He thinks he’s the Antichrist!” The words came out closer to a wail than Dierdre had intended. She’d been worried sick for days, in her defense.</p><p>“He’s not,” said the blonde, entirely unruffled.</p><p>“I know that.” Trouble was, Adam didn’t seem to.</p><p>“Not anymore,” continued the blonde.</p><p>“What?” asked Arthur.</p><p>Dierdre considered the possibility they were dealing with two absolute nutters.</p><p>“He saw to that. You’re both to be commended on your parenting,” continued the blonde as though praising Adam for standing up to a bully. Then, belatedly, he added, “Oh, I see. You don’t believe him.”</p><p>That sounded more accusatory than it had any right to. Definitely dealing with nutters.</p><p>At a beseeching look from the blonde, the redhead replied, “Don’t look at me. You’re the one who wanted to have this conversation.”</p><p>Turning back to Dierdre and Arthur, the blonde said, “I assure you he’s telling the truth.”</p><p>Right. Like that would convince them.</p><p>“I’m sure this is something of a shock, but you ought to be very proud of Adam. He did save the world.”</p><p>“I think a demonstration is required,” said the redhead, sounding an odd mixture of amused and resigned.</p><p>“Very well. Mr. Young, if you will be so good as to check your feet.”</p><p>“My feet?” asked Arthur. Dierdre shrugged. She didn’t know how one was supposed to handle interactions with people so detached from reality. Arthur slipped off his ratty gardening shoes, the ones she’d been trying to talk him into binning for a year now without any luck.</p><p>“Dierdre! My toe!”</p><p>Ever since she’d known him, Arthur had nine toes. He lost one in a motorbike accident not long before they met. Now he stood there with ten entirely whole toes.</p><p>Dierdre sat down heavily.</p><p>Arthur wiggled his toes.</p><p>The blonde smiled.</p><p>The redhead said, “You’re no fun.”</p><p>“I hardly think your fangs trick would be helpful in this situation,” replied the blonde.</p><p>Dierdre was sure she didn’t want to know. If Arthur could instantly regrow an entire toe years and years after it was mangled beyond all hope of repair, well, either Dierdre and Arthur had also gone around the bend, or…</p><p>“You’re an angel,” she said.</p><p>“Yes. I would appreciate you not mentioning it to others. The paperwork alone – oh, well, I don’t have to worry about that anymore, but still.”</p><p>Arthur looked from his toe to the blonde, then the redhead. “And you’re…”</p><p>“A demon. Yes.” He stood up. “Great. Now you know your son’s not lying, glad we cleared that up, have a nice life.”</p><p>“You can’t just leave,” said Dierdre.</p><p>“Sure I can.” For all that, he didn’t actually take a step.</p><p>“You haven’t had tea.” Goodness, where were her manners? There was an angel in her garden and she hadn’t offered him tea.</p><p>“Thank you,” said Arthur. “For my toe.”</p><p>“My pleasure. And I appreciate the offer of tea, but we didn’t mean to disturb you,” said the angel.</p><p>“No, no. Actually, perhaps you can help.”</p><p>The demon groaned. He did sit back down after the angel gave him a reproachful glance. For a certain definition of ‘sit,’ anyway. It was more of a slouch, or a slink.</p><p>“It’s about Adam. But first, can I get you something? Tea? Arthur’s homemade ginger beer?”</p><p>“The ginger beer would be lovely, thank you,” said the angel.</p><p>“Yeah, sure, why not?”</p><p>Dierdre supposed it would be unreasonable to expect a demon to have good manners.<a href="#_ftn1" id="_ftnref1" name="_ftnref1">[1]</a> “I’ll just be a moment.”</p><p>Arthur followed her into the kitchen. “Does this mean Adam really was…”</p><p>“I expect they’ll tell us. Don’t just stand there, get out the Hobnobs.” Not much to offer an angel, but better than nothing.</p><p>“I apologize for getting our meeting off to a poor start,” she said when she went back outside, Arthur trailing behind her with a plate of biscuits.</p><p>“Quite understandable. Thank you. I’m Aziraphale, and this is Crowley. We’ve taken the precaution of ensuring no one will overhear our conversation.”</p><p>“Probably a good idea,” said Arthur.</p><p>“Indeed. This is delightful ginger beer, Mr. Young.”</p><p>Arthur preened. “Glad you like it.”</p><p>“Now, what seems to be the trouble?”</p><p>“I admit I’m not entirely certain,” admitted Dierdre. “Adam is… well, he’s a bit at sea, you could say. Is he – was he really, you know?”</p><p>“The Antichrist? Without a doubt. He isn’t any longer, though.”</p><p>“Not a trace of power,” added Crowley.</p><p>“We were in the neighborhood to check on that,” said Aziraphale. “To be certain, you understand.”</p><p>Dierdre didn’t. She was busy wondering if giving birth to the Antichrist made her the Anti-Virgin Mary. Well, she definitely hadn’t been a virgin.</p><p>“How does that work, deciding not to be the Antichrist?” asked Arthur.</p><p>“He came into his power, but renounced it. Renounced Satan, changed reality so you were always his father,” Crowley, who apparently did not care for Hobnobs, explained while Aziraphale nibbled one.</p><p>Dierdre said, “I’m sorry, I’m still caught up on the part where my son was the Antichrist.”</p><p>“If it helps, he changed reality, so in one sense he never was.”</p><p>It didn’t help. Then again, demons weren’t likely to have a great deal of practice in offering emotional reassurance, were they?<a href="#_ftn2" id="_ftnref2" name="_ftnref2">[2]</a></p><p>“The important considerations,” said Aziraphale, “are that Adam is no longer the Antichrist, the world is not ending, and we can thank your good parenting for much of those happy facts.”</p><p>Dierdre wasn’t sure why, exactly, she would be chosen as the mother of the being supposed to bring about the End Times if her parenting skills were sufficient to thwart the whole plan, but she had to admit Aziraphale’s words were very flattering.</p><p>“That’s all lovely,” she said. “Only, Adam is dreadfully upset.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked at the Hobnobs. “You can have mine,” said Crowley.</p><p>“Oh, if you insist. What exactly is troubling Adam?” asked Aziraphale, reaching for another biscuit.</p><p>“He’s worried he’s doomed to Hell,” explained Arthur. “Where everyone is mad at him for not starting the Apocalypse, so he thinks it will be extra miserable.”</p><p>“Heaven’s not any happier with him,” said Crowley. “Or better, when you get down to it.”</p><p>Now that was just depressing. Then again, a demon would dislike Heaven, wouldn’t he?</p><p>“Yes, well,” said Aziraphale. “I’m afraid I’m no longer receiving my memos, so I haven’t anything to offer but my own speculation.”</p><p>“Heaven sends memos?” asked Arthur.</p><p>“They cancelled my subscription to the <em>Celestial Observer</em>, too. Anyway, Adam is completely human, so it stands to reason that the final destination of his soul is entirely dependent on the choices he makes throughout his lifetime, just like any other human. And the good news is, Gabriel never visits the realms of Heaven where souls reside…”</p><p>“Never lowers himself,” interrupted Crowley.</p><p>“…so Adam won’t have to worry about any unpleasantries there.”</p><p>“Gabriel?” asked Arthur.</p><p>“The Archangel Fucking Gabriel.”</p><p>“<em>Crowley</em>.”</p><p>“His words, not mine,” replied a very unrepentant demon (which, Dierdre imagined, was the entire point of being a demon).</p><p>Aziraphale evidently decided the battle wasn’t worth fighting. To Arthur and Dierdre, he explained, “Gabriel is, how shall I explain it? The Operations Manager of Heaven, if you will.”</p><p>Dierdre did not think that Adam would be very reassured by this information. She certainly wasn’t. Best to cancel the psychiatrist, in any case. No one would believe this. She scarcely believed it and she’d seen her husband’s regrown toe with her own eyes.</p><p>“So Heaven <em>and</em> Hell are mad at Adam?” she clarified.</p><p>“They’re quite put out that they don’t get their war. I was supposed to lead a platoon.” Aziraphale shuddered a bit. Dierdre could not imagine him as a soldier.<a href="#_ftn3" id="_ftnref3" name="_ftnref3">[3]</a></p><p>“Does that mean he’s in danger?”</p><p>“Oh, I don’t think so. It’s all part of the Ineffable Plan. I’m sure Crowley and I demonstrated that quite clearly.”</p><p>“What he means is, Heaven and Hell will be regrouping for a century or two,” said Crowley.</p><p>“Possibly an entire millennium. It really depends on how cryptic the Metatron is. I never did get a straight answer on the subject of the Crusades.”</p><p>“And they’re more interested in punishing us than Adam, anyhow,” finished Crowley.<a href="#_ftn4" id="_ftnref4" name="_ftnref4">[4]</a> He paused. “You know Mammon took credit for the Crusades.”</p><p>“I’m not surprised.”</p><p>Dierdre was not interested in the Crusades. Neither was Arthur, who said, “Sounds like Adam ought to have kept a little power, to protect himself.”</p><p>Aziraphale shook his head. “Oh, no, it doesn’t work like that. All or nothing, you see, and in any event now that he’s completely human and the Horsemen dispatched, there’s nothing Heaven or Hell can do. Armageddon is postponed indefinitely.”</p><p>“Should’ve kept my long-term stocks,” muttered Crowley.</p><p>“There won’t be another Antichrist?” Dierdre was focused on Adam, but she did have a stake in the indefinitely postponement of the apocalypse.</p><p>“Not unless there’s another Christ first, and I don’t see that happening,” said Crowley.</p><p>“No. Certainly not. The chaos that would create... not even Gabriel would accept it.”<a href="#_ftn5" id="_ftnref5" name="_ftnref5">[5]</a></p><p>“That’s a relief,” Dierdre said.</p><p>“If Adam isn’t the Antichrist, does that mean Dog isn’t a hellhound?” asked Arthur.</p><p>“Nope,” said Crowley. “Still a hellhound.”</p><p>“I’d have thought a hellhound would be a bit more… hellish,” mused Aziraphale.</p><p>Crowley shrugged. “Eh, it’s the form.”</p><p>“It almost seems as though a bit of Hell has been, hmm, neutralized.”</p><p>“Still plenty left.”</p><p>“There is, at that,” agreed Aziraphale.</p><p>“How do you neutralize Hell?” asked Arthur.</p><p>Aziraphale opened his mouth, flinched, and closed it again.<a href="#_ftn6" id="_ftnref6" name="_ftnref6">[6]</a> Crowley said, “Nothing you need to know.”</p><p>“Crowley! Aziraphale!” Adam bounded over, Dog close on his heels. “You came back!”</p><p>“Yes, we were just having a chat with your parents,” said Aziraphale. Dierdre realized no answer on how to neutralize Hell would be forthcoming.</p><p>“Now do you believe me?” Adam asked.</p><p>She was going to have to deal with the fallout from that, too. Oh dear. “I’m terribly sorry, Adam.”</p><p>“I wasn’t making it up.”</p><p>“No, you weren’t. And I promise we’ll talk about it later, but right now, don’t you want to speak with Aziraphale and Crowley?”</p><p>Adam nodded and turned to the two supernatural beings. “Come on, I’ll show you my room.”</p><p>They dutifully followed. Once the door shut behind them, Arthur turned to her and asked, “Do you think we should start going to church?”</p><p>“Never mind that for now.” Far too much to sort out there, because Heaven didn’t sound a whole lot better than Hell and that… well, that just was too much for Dierdre to consider at the moment. “There’s a demon in our house.” Was it a good idea to allow that? Did she have a choice in the matter?</p><p>“And an angel.” Arthur thought for a moment. “Would’ve guessed and angel and a demon would be a bit more… adversarial.”</p><p>Come to think of it, Crowley seemed very willing to do as Aziraphale wanted. Coming over for this chat in the first place, not leaving, letting Adam show off his room – these were all Aziraphale, and Crowley followed.<a href="#_ftn7" id="_ftnref7" name="_ftnref7">[7]</a> It was not how one typically imagined the relationship between an angel and a demon, not at all.</p><p>Then again, one didn’t typically imagine one’s son used to be the Antichrist, so normal had well and truly gone out the window.</p><p>“Why us?” she asked. “Wouldn’t they want the Antichrist raised by, I don’t know, Satanists?”</p><p>“You’d think,” replied Arthur.</p><p>Dierdre did not get to pose her question to the supernatural beings for well over an hour, when they emerged from the house with Adam explaining the tricks he was teaching Dog. He was in good spirits, at least.</p><p>While Aziraphale watched kindly as Dog played dead, Dierdre asked Crowley, “Why were we given the Antichrist to raise?”</p><p>Crowley stuffed his hands in his pockets, which was quite a feat considering how tight they were. “Bit of a mix-up there.”</p><p>“A mix-up? Hell <em>misplaced</em> the Antichrist?”</p><p>“Yeah. Not really good at organization, Hell.”</p><p>Dierdre, while still flummoxed as to how such an error could possibly have occurred, decided it was better than the alternative, which was that she was somehow deemed the perfect mother for the Antichrist. Anyway, she knew nothing about how souls were assigned to babies or what have you, so for all she knew it was a very complicated process.<a href="#_ftn8" id="_ftnref8" name="_ftnref8">[8]</a></p><p>“That’s marvelous, Adam.” Either Aziraphale was a very good actor, or he was truly impressed with Dog’s demonstration. Dierdre wouldn’t like to venture a guess which.</p><p>“He’ll know more tricks next time you come visit,” said Adam.</p><p>“Next time?” asked Aziraphale.</p><p>“Yeah. You’ve got to come back. Who else can answer my questions? I’m sure I’ll have more.”</p><p>“Well…”</p><p>Surprisingly, it was Crowley who said, “Could come up next month.”<a href="#_ftn9" id="_ftnref9" name="_ftnref9">[9]</a></p><p>“Brilliant!” said Adam.</p><p>Wasn’t there a Chinese curse, <em>may you live in interesting times</em>? Dierdre had a feeling her life was going to get very interesting, very quickly.</p><p> </p><p><a href="#_ftnref1" id="_ftn1" name="_ftn1">[1]</a> By Hell’s standards, Crowley’s manners were horrifyingly good. He was the only demon who chewed with his mouth closed.</p><p><a href="#_ftnref2" id="_ftn2" name="_ftn2">[2]</a> Technically, Crowley had invented emotional reassurance back on the wall of Eden, but only accidentally, and only because he’d first invented sarcasm and Aziraphale hadn’t cottoned on to the sarcasm bit.</p><p><a href="#_ftnref3" id="_ftn3" name="_ftn3">[3]</a> She had never seen him defend his books from persistent customers.</p><p><a href="#_ftnref4" id="_ftn4" name="_ftn4">[4]</a> Heaven and Hell could not conceive of the human influence winning out without the traitors forcing matters. This was the natural result of six thousand years spent taking credit for many occurrences in which neither Crowley nor Aziraphale were involved. Crowley was thus, once again, hoisted by his own petard.</p><p><a href="#_ftnref5" id="_ftn5" name="_ftn5">[5]</a> Gabriel had, in fact, briefly contemplated the idea before discarding it as unfeasible, not least because it was beyond his power. Also, he had an annoyingly persistent conviction it was not part of any Plan.</p><p><a href="#_ftnref6" id="_ftn6" name="_ftn6">[6]</a> Crowley had taken the most expedient route of shutting him up: smacking his wing in the other plane.</p><p><a href="#_ftnref7" id="_ftn7" name="_ftn7">[7]</a> Aziraphale’s disapproval had not prevented Crowley from driving to Tadfield at ninety-five miles an hour, however.</p><p><a href="#_ftnref8" id="_ftn8" name="_ftn8">[8]</a> It wasn’t. It also had absolutely nothing to do with Hell, but Dierdre had mistaken Crowley’s answer as one applying to babies prior to birth, and he was not eager to explain what had really happened, so he left her to her misunderstanding.</p><p><a href="#_ftnref9" id="_ftn9" name="_ftn9">[9]</a> Crowley respected questions. The fact that it flattered his ego when Adam saw him as so knowledgeable didn’t exactly hurt, either.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The Chinese curse is probably not Chinese at all - it may well have originated in 20th century England - but Dierdre doesn't know that. ;)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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